Early
by daisy617
Summary: I'm not your boyfriend, baby. I ain't your cute little sex toy." -3Oh!3 HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN RACHIE!


So No Ifs Ands Or Maybes is very disgruntled by the lack of happy jiley newlywed stories on fanfiction. She thinks it's bad that there always has to be a problem for them. So, I (unfortunately hehe jk) succumbed myself to promising to write her a jiley newlywed story for her birthday. It's been a stressful road, but luckily I got it done in time! It's a bit short, and slightly plot-less, but it's a fluffy story that I hope you'll all enjoy. Happy Birthday, girl!!

I'm sure this goes without saying (have you ever noticed that people always say that but then say what should go without saying anyway?) but the italics are flashbacks and the non-italics are present-day scenes.

"**Early"**

"I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt" Jake sung as he danced through his Malibu beach house shirtless at 7 o'clock in the morning, while his wife tried to get their daughter ready for her first day of school.

Miley rolled her eyes at his antics. Sometimes it felt like she had two children, but they kept her busy, and she loved every second of the chaos he brought to the house.

"JAKE! Come say good-bye to your daughter and stop setting a bad example for her! What if she does this during class?"

Jake came running into the room at the thought of his daughter stripping in front of the kindergarten boys. "Honey, promise me all of your clothes will remain on your body throughout the entire school day." He held out his pinky.

His daughter grabbed it with her own and said, "I pwomise, daddy." She beamed at him.

He laughed, took her hand, and led her outside to the bus.

"OW OW" They heard and turned around to find Lilly and Oliver and their kids.

"Nice outfit, Jake." Lilly laughed loudly, holding her daughter's hand.

"I didn't realize the dress code for dropping our children off was pedophile." Oliver whispered to Jake so their children wouldn't hear, as his son ran over to the open door of the bus.

"Bye daddy!" He yelled, jumping on, excited for the first day.

The little girls followed him, also yelling "bye" to their respective parents, and the bus took off.

"Ex-cuse me, but I happen to be too sexy for my shirt." Jake remarked, as he sashayed down the block, back home, in his boxers.

* * *

_As the rice trickled down over their heads, two smiling faces emerged from the crowd hand in hand. Saying good-bye to their friends, and doing their best to dodge the paparazzi, they climbed into their limo and drove off into the sunset, ready to hop on a plane to their honeymoon. _

_They sailed over the turquoise waters as they made their way to Australia, the only continent neither of them had been to before, which made it perfect for this special occasion. Laughing and happier than ever, they climbed down from their plane and set foot on the spectacular island. Another limo brought them to their hotel, where they checked into the honeymoon suite. _

"_Look at this view, Jake!" Miley exclaimed, stepping onto the balcony and seeing the beautiful beach landscape. "Isn't it beautiful?"_

"_Yeah…beautiful." Jake replied softly as he let his eyes gaze over his new wife. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he said, "Too bad we'll be spending all of our time in the bedroom." He winked._

_She playfully slapped him and spoke, "Jaaaake. We might never be here again. We should enjoy everyt-". She was cut off as he kissed her and led her into the bedroom. _

* * *

"I can't believe our children are off to their first day of school!" Miley shouted to Lilly, Jake, and Oliver.

"I can't believe our children are all the same age. My poor son will be thrown into the same crazy friendship with your daughters as I was with you two." Oliver joked.

"Yeah, having two girls fighting over his attention will be just HORRIBLE for him." Jake rolled his eyes.

"Miley and Lilly never fought over me…" Oliver replied, bewildered by the idea, and suddenly wondering if there had been something wrong with him.

"Good. Just make sure my daughter leaves her clothes on around him." Jake stated and walked into the kitchen for a snack, leaving Lilly and Oliver puzzled and Miley hysterical.

* * *

"_SURPRISE!" Miley and Jake heard as he carried her through the threshold. Lilly, Oliver, Jackson, Robbie, and Jake's parents filled the living room, along with drinks, food, and a banner that read Welcome Home, Newlyweds. Jake set Miley down and the two ran over to hug their friends and family. _

_The men went to help Jake unload the car, while the women stayed back to discuss what Miley had missed, and how her honeymoon had been. _

_After three hours of company and dinner, Miley and Jake were exhausted, especially because of their long flight home, so everyone left and the two were finally alone in their new beach house. _

_Jake shut the door behind them, calling out, "Thanks for coming! See you soon!" _

_Sighing loudly, he yelled, "FINALLY! I thought they'd never leave. Couldn't they see I just wanted to be alone with my gorgeous wife?" _

_Miley laughed as he lifted her up and carried her up the stairs to their brand-new master bedroom. _

* * *

"I wonder what they're learning right now." Miley voiced her thoughts as she took a sip of her sweet tea.

"Anything but Shakespeare."

"Don't be ridiculous, Oliver. They don't teach Shakespeare in kindergarten." Lilly smacked him.

"It's okay. Let him hate it. It was a miserable time for all of us…" Miley reminisced.

"In reality, though, they're probably learning how to share. I can just picture our little angel pretending to be sweet and innocent, borrow a toy, and never give it back. That's something her daddy taught her. Hold on to everything and everyone because you never know what it will be worth some day." Jake puffed out his chest in triumph. Holding on to everyone referred to the many ordeals he went through trying to hold on to Miley throughout their teenage years.

"Words of wisdom from the great Jake Ryan." Miley announced, smiling at the double-meaning she caught in his words.

* * *

"_Mmm, something smells delicious." Jake said as he wrapped his arms around Miley and pressed his nose against her bare shoulder. _

"_I'm making chicken!" Miley exclaimed, excited about being on their own and having to cook for themselves. _

"_My favorite!" Jake replied. "But I was talking about you." He winked. _

_Miley laughed, as she turned around and gave Jake a taste of her cooking. "WELL THAT'S AMAZING! You should quit singing and become a chef. Oh my gosh! You could become Cody Linley's personal chef! He is one amazing man. Not as great as me of course, but a pretty close second…on second thought maybe you should only cook for me."_

* * *

The hours passed, while Miley, Jake, Oliver, and Lilly sat in the Ryan's backyard remembering their good old days and hoping their children were doing well on their first day of school.

Oliver walked inside to grab a piece of pie, and while he was slicing it, he noticed the clock on the microwave read 2:50. Their kids' bus arrived at 2:45. He dropped his food (for the first time in his life) and ran out to the backyard yelling, "WE'RE LATE, WE'RE LATE, WE'RE LATE FOR A VERY IMPORTANT DATE NO TIME TO WASTE HELLO GOOD BYE WE'RE LATE WE'RE LATE WE'RE LATE WE'RE LATE!" And then he sprinted out the fence and down the block.

* * *

"_JAKE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" Miley yelled from the hospital bed. _

"_Hey babe, it's not my fault you can't resist me." _

"_THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES, MISTER! I'M BEING TORN OPEN!" She replied, squeezing his hand so tightly that he had to struggle not to wince._

"_OKAY OKAY CALM DOWN! You're right. I'm sorry. But you can do this, Miles. Just push and it'll be over before you know it."_

_"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY!" Miley shouted, but by the time she finished her statement, little Rachel Elizabeth Ryan had been brought into the world._

"_She's perfect." They whispered together as Miley cradled her newborn daughter. _

* * *

The other three parents finally caught up to Oliver, out of breath, to find him with his arms wrapped around all three children repeating "I'm so sorry". For a class clown back in high school, Oliver really did have a good heart when it came to raising his son. He was a slightly over-protected parent, and his friends thanked the heavens every day that he was given a boy, not a girl, because God knows he would be ten times worse with one.

"Hey kids! How was your first day of school?" Jake asked. The kids responded with a chorus of positive feedback, but of course the parents wanted to hear details, so they went their separate ways to allow their kids to non-stop talk about all the fun and excitement kindergarten held.

"DADDY! I did what you taught me. I kept my clothes on, I collected everyone else's toys, and I said no to boys!"

"THAT'S MY GIRL!" Jake exclaimed, picking up his daughter and carrying her home super-girl style, leaving Miley to shake her head at the absurdity that was her family.

_

* * *

_

Miley walked out onto their back porch and found Jake sitting in her favorite swing staring up at the stars. She had just put Rachel to bed and was pleased that her baby could now sleep through the night and her own sleeping patterns were able to go back to normal.

"_Hey hun, mind if I sit?"_

"_Of course not." Jake smiled and scooted over to make room for his wife._

"_What are you thinking about?" She asked him._

"_How thankful I am to have you in my life. And how glad I am that my mom made me switch into public school."_

"_We would have met anyway when Hannah guest starred on Zombie High." She pointed out._

"_True. But you wouldn't have given me the time of day if I hadn't been talking to you about…you." _

_She laughed, "You may be right. Thank God for public school." _

_They fell into a comfortable silence, both extremely happy to have each other. _

_He was her first love, and she was his. And as all of their friends and family members knew, their love had been tested many times when they were teenagers. She settled into his arms and was pleased to find that all of their worries and hardships from their teenage years had disappeared. They could finally be the happy couple she had hoped for since he kissed her on the beach next to Rico's so many years ago. _

* * *

LMFAO So I just noticed that in all of the present parts I have one of the guys randomly run away from everyone else at the end…make of that what you wish. It was accidental. ANYWAY Happy birthday again, Rachie!! She has the same birthday as my daddy. How super cool is that?? I think it's awesome. Anyway, HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN, LOVE! (P.S Rachie- I was wrong about the reviews in that doc having a higher word count than this!)


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